The Need for Validation

Def. Validation: To declare or make legally valid; to mark with an indication of official sanction; to establish the soundness of. Synonym is confirm. - Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Apparently the human species has this inherent need to be validated. We seek validation for a job well done, that we are attractive, we are valued by those we see as our betters, and we want to be wanted by others. Some require very little validation while others require a good deal of validation to feel good about themselves or ourselves.

Why do we require validation from others who we feel is the authority on the particular such as the fighting arts where rank is viewed as a form of validation along with who presented you with that rank or level. We seem to need confirmation from authoritative (or what is perceived as authoritative) sources before we find comfort in our level of proficiency and this goes to many other "things" in life.

Validation apparently originates in our childhood and it may be from a lack of attention or the resulting feeling of not being valued by those we perceive as important authority figures, i.e. parents, etc. We tend to seek to quench that thirst as we grow up.

When you study the list of personal experiences that indicate the need for validation you understand it a bit more such as a feeling of uncomfortable around others, trying to do to much for others while ignoring yourself, etc.

In the end seeking validation from other sources and persons other than "yourself" will always leave you unsatisfied thus always seeking it; a vicious circle. Only you can satisfy your own need for validation!

Ok, now you see that our view of rank in the fighting arts may just be an extension of our own personal need to find validation in what we practice. It is merely a venue for our ego's to satisfy the inherent need and the fighting arts colored belts along with the need to have a particular organization and/or person see us as something we should already see within ourselves.

Here is how we as fighting art practitioners can utilize the singular practice of an art such as Isshinryu Karate-jutsu-do to not only take control of ourselves through the suppression of the ego's influences by training and practicing until we have a level of self-esteem that tells us that we are satisfied with ourselves, that we are good, moral, and decent; that we see ourselves as proficient in all we do especially through the "Way" of the fighting arts.

Only by centering ourselves from within do we achieve the abilities inherent in the practice of the "Way" that allow us to control the ego; to remain ever present; to remain always in the moment; and to choose the moment when we shall deal with everyday life matters.

This is the ultimate goal of training in the fighting arts; in the "Way of the Empty Hand"; and any other way or art form.

THOUGHTS---------->>>

Humans have many needs that are generally met by other humans - like needs for connection, reassurance, love/warmth, intimacy, acceptance, companionship, meaning, inspiration, challenge. If you're alive, you need other people - that’s just part of being human. The great part is, other people need you too!

Where this drops a bit is the degree of need for others especially in regards to validation which in this instance is attached, like so many other things, to our own self-esteem. We are social animals so to speak so we do need a degree of contact with others. This is so true if you believe that we are all connected in this universe by strings of energy, i.e. my string theory.

Where that need becomes an issue with each of us is when the degree of need becomes something that causes us to seek it out like an obsession resulting is a loss of balance within. The loss of balance be it in the mind or as the body follows the mind it also has adverse effects on the body resulting is stress and the physical issues that causes.

We need to find balance within or we never find balance without or outside in the world. If our needs are in the extreme and not balanced then we suffer the results so we must find balance.

This is where that singular practice can achieve that balance. We open our minds in the training hall to allow our ego's to lie in stasis so our minds can "see" reality. We then are receptive to our own faults and try to bring them into the realm of perfection (understanding that the trip is the true goal for perfection is imperfection). If we achieve this in our art form it will naturally have positive influences on our minds and in every day life. We achieve balance in life through the practice of the singular form of fighting art.

In the end our self worth does not depend on others nor does it depend on any type of rating, ranking, or perception of another. Learn from authoritative sources so you can grow within and then let your self provide all the self-esteem you already possess.