Words Hurt

I have been hit. I have been on the receiving end of a horizontal butt stroke from a M-14 rifle. I was beaten over the  head with a 2x4. My bunk was set on fire one night after a night of imbibing a bit to much alcohol. Never in my life have I felt the pain I feel when I get hit by words. This is especially so when it comes from someone close to you.

No amount of softening. No amount of dears, friends, loves, etc. added to those words diminish their effects. Like using the word "but" it cancels out any niceties you add when the hurtful words hit.

I can truly say that the words do hurt. I can truly say I don't feel the guilt and anxieties that go with that - mostly - words still hurt and now that I know why I don't feel guilt that is not appropriate.

The more I learn the more I understand and the more I realize just how important communications are and that our own awareness of what is said, how it is said and presuppositions can achieve greatness and hurtfulness - our choice, my choice.

The question now is, do I allow it to continue - enable it - or what? The second question is this, if they don't really realize that they are doing what they are doing how do you make them aware of it without creating a larger rift of anger, resentment, and such?

There is just one pain that exceeds what I describe, the self-realization that I too used words to hurt, bully, cajole, intimidate and that is just wrong. Words can heal - or - hurt. You have to ask yourself, "What did yours do today?" Wise Sufism: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? Consider this sufism when you consider saying something to someone - remember, the answers are there's if asked, not yours.